thank you so much for writing this. !!!!! as someone that feels both behind and ahead at the same time this was so needed for me to hear- i’m 26 and never been in a serious relationship and knowing you have different feelings of weirdness feels connective. we are all gonna be FINEEEEEEEEEEEEE
connective is exactly what i was going for ☺️ but the way you write is filled with such joy and energy, i have no doubt that you are doing everything in the best most perfect way for you!!! keep that outlook alive
I feel this so strongly as someone who turns 29 in 2 days and is super single. I also feel so behind in my career, friendships, relationships, etc. Social media doesn't help for sure. This all makes so sense and something more people need to be reminded of!
It just goes to show how everyone can have a similar feeling even though we’re in different parts of our lives!! I am constantly questioning whether I’m making the right decisions and if I’m where I’m supposed to be and it’s a universal feeling especially at this age so thank you for sharing, Megan.
29 has been magical for me as much as this post makes it seem hard!!! Hoping it gives you the same!!!
As someone nearly a decade older can I just say - you are a baby still! I am a baby still! I remember the agonising strain of being 29 and feeling left behind. My friends who were single or broken up with by 29 are now in the healthiest happiest relationships in their mid to late thirties. Things change so unexpectedly - you can’t plan for it! You have to just keep choosing yourself and being brave and see how it all unfolds. But trust me - you are not behind ♥️
thank you so much for this, really needed it. I'm so glad to know more good is coming and I really just need to remember to appreciate everything I have and stay present. Saving this advice in my notes!
Such a well-written and well-thought out essay. Thanks so much for writing it! I'm two years older than you (31) and that gap between friendships is one I've mused on for the last few years too. It's wild to know that paths that were once so intertwined diverge so suddenly, but also not suddenly at all. It's beautiful and hard. Similar to you, I like to think it just expands how much of the world we get to see and know thanks to how unique everyone's POV is. But also with re: to never feeling "adult" enough (or "right" enough) to say outloud that kids are in the picture in X years — so nice to know there are more people who share this feeling!!!
never feeling adult enough is so real.... thank you for such a thoughtful comment, vivian. the idea of paths diverging not suddenly at all is so true and so well said.
I love this piece. I'm turning 29 this summer and it's an odd place to be. I became a foster mom at 26 and wound up adopting a sibling group of 4 kids, ages 3-10. At the same time, we've struggled with infertility and pregnancy loss so it feels like I'm see ALL my peers experience something I haven't been able to have myself, even while being "farther along" in motherhood than them. Such a weird place! Life after college truly becomes the most random collection of paths one can take. And I think owning the areas of our life friends won't be able to relate to while being genuinely invested in their lives still is important.
Olivia, this is incredible. What a glimpse into not only how our journeys at this age, but how the journey to motherhood looks so different for every single person.
Really appreciate your honesty in this article. I'm a little older (35) and happily married but also find it strangely hard to tell people that we might want to start a family soon. Like it's never the "right" thing to say regardless of the situation? Maybe that's my own fears, maybe it's societal pressures? Either way, I totally hear you. This is a very natural biological feeling and yet somehow it still feels... wrong/bad/weird? I don't imagine women feeling this way throughout history, it's an interesting topic to dive into. Anyway, thanks for sharing. You inspire me! xx
Lauren I totally agree! Somehow it feels off… when only a generation ago my mom had me at 27 and kept going with 3 more after me! I am really not sure why I find myself holding back from answering honestly, but I am glad that I am seemingly not alone in these feelings. Thanks so much for reading and engaging ♥️
Wow this was such a comfort to read. I turn 29 in a month and just ended a 6 year relationship. All of my friends are married or in serious relationships and it feels like I’ve taken a huge step back.
It’s not where I had envisioned myself to be at this age but I’m working on accepting that’s it ok for my path to look different from others.
"i find myself treading lightly when talking about my roadmap (house + baby), so as to not upset someone who is not yet there" While I appreciate someone being considerate, this feels like overkill.
My best friend is married, owns a house with her husband, and is trying for baby #1.
I am freshly single after a long-term relationship, living at home to save for a house, and not at all interested in kids.
We are both 29. I can honestly say that I'm not jealous of her in any shape or form. I am so relieved to be single after four years of chaos, that marriage is not even on my radar.
It's totally fine to keep things private, but I doubt people care as much as you think.
In other news -- just come to Texas for a weekend. People here will convince you that you are actually behind having a baby at 29! And maybe I'll visit New York where I belong apparently😂
this is super refreshing xandra, and i totally agree that it's probably more me being in my own head!!! the weird "left out" feeling is likely more subliminal than anything else.
you and your best friend are a great example of the different places people can be at age 29, and it sounds like you aren't letting those differences impact how much you see each other or keep up with your friendship. your perspective is helpful to realize that it probably isn't as hard as i am making it out to be. so thank you for sharing your POV, which seems different than others in the comments, which is why i continue to love it here.
This was so comforting!! I am 27 and getting married in less than a month. I’ve been having these same thoughts, especially with a bridal party that is half single/half married w kids. The gap feels wide sometimes but ultimately, like you said, it really helps hearing different perspectives. I love hearing my single friends’ thoughts on marriage just as much as my married friends’. It’s all about intentions and openness. Thank you so much for writing this, it truly made my day!
This resonates so deeply for me too! I wrote something similar quite recently, about how we (my friends and I) are all now living these parallel lives in different speeds and it’s confusing to everyone😅
I too want a baby and I’m not afraid to say it, but it’s probably not happening for a while. I, too, have a pinterest board💕
thank you so much for writing this. !!!!! as someone that feels both behind and ahead at the same time this was so needed for me to hear- i’m 26 and never been in a serious relationship and knowing you have different feelings of weirdness feels connective. we are all gonna be FINEEEEEEEEEEEEE
connective is exactly what i was going for ☺️ but the way you write is filled with such joy and energy, i have no doubt that you are doing everything in the best most perfect way for you!!! keep that outlook alive
I feel this so strongly as someone who turns 29 in 2 days and is super single. I also feel so behind in my career, friendships, relationships, etc. Social media doesn't help for sure. This all makes so sense and something more people need to be reminded of!
It just goes to show how everyone can have a similar feeling even though we’re in different parts of our lives!! I am constantly questioning whether I’m making the right decisions and if I’m where I’m supposed to be and it’s a universal feeling especially at this age so thank you for sharing, Megan.
29 has been magical for me as much as this post makes it seem hard!!! Hoping it gives you the same!!!
I really hope so too and really love your writing here. I just remember everything happens for a reason and things come when they're meant to!
As someone nearly a decade older can I just say - you are a baby still! I am a baby still! I remember the agonising strain of being 29 and feeling left behind. My friends who were single or broken up with by 29 are now in the healthiest happiest relationships in their mid to late thirties. Things change so unexpectedly - you can’t plan for it! You have to just keep choosing yourself and being brave and see how it all unfolds. But trust me - you are not behind ♥️
♥️ we all needed this Camilla
♥️ I’m here for all of you!
thank you so much for this, really needed it. I'm so glad to know more good is coming and I really just need to remember to appreciate everything I have and stay present. Saving this advice in my notes!
Such a well-written and well-thought out essay. Thanks so much for writing it! I'm two years older than you (31) and that gap between friendships is one I've mused on for the last few years too. It's wild to know that paths that were once so intertwined diverge so suddenly, but also not suddenly at all. It's beautiful and hard. Similar to you, I like to think it just expands how much of the world we get to see and know thanks to how unique everyone's POV is. But also with re: to never feeling "adult" enough (or "right" enough) to say outloud that kids are in the picture in X years — so nice to know there are more people who share this feeling!!!
never feeling adult enough is so real.... thank you for such a thoughtful comment, vivian. the idea of paths diverging not suddenly at all is so true and so well said.
I love this piece. I'm turning 29 this summer and it's an odd place to be. I became a foster mom at 26 and wound up adopting a sibling group of 4 kids, ages 3-10. At the same time, we've struggled with infertility and pregnancy loss so it feels like I'm see ALL my peers experience something I haven't been able to have myself, even while being "farther along" in motherhood than them. Such a weird place! Life after college truly becomes the most random collection of paths one can take. And I think owning the areas of our life friends won't be able to relate to while being genuinely invested in their lives still is important.
Olivia, this is incredible. What a glimpse into not only how our journeys at this age, but how the journey to motherhood looks so different for every single person.
Really appreciate your honesty in this article. I'm a little older (35) and happily married but also find it strangely hard to tell people that we might want to start a family soon. Like it's never the "right" thing to say regardless of the situation? Maybe that's my own fears, maybe it's societal pressures? Either way, I totally hear you. This is a very natural biological feeling and yet somehow it still feels... wrong/bad/weird? I don't imagine women feeling this way throughout history, it's an interesting topic to dive into. Anyway, thanks for sharing. You inspire me! xx
Lauren I totally agree! Somehow it feels off… when only a generation ago my mom had me at 27 and kept going with 3 more after me! I am really not sure why I find myself holding back from answering honestly, but I am glad that I am seemingly not alone in these feelings. Thanks so much for reading and engaging ♥️
Wow this was such a comfort to read. I turn 29 in a month and just ended a 6 year relationship. All of my friends are married or in serious relationships and it feels like I’ve taken a huge step back.
It’s not where I had envisioned myself to be at this age but I’m working on accepting that’s it ok for my path to look different from others.
what a brave decision to make, which no doubt was the best one for you amy!!!
"i find myself treading lightly when talking about my roadmap (house + baby), so as to not upset someone who is not yet there" While I appreciate someone being considerate, this feels like overkill.
My best friend is married, owns a house with her husband, and is trying for baby #1.
I am freshly single after a long-term relationship, living at home to save for a house, and not at all interested in kids.
We are both 29. I can honestly say that I'm not jealous of her in any shape or form. I am so relieved to be single after four years of chaos, that marriage is not even on my radar.
It's totally fine to keep things private, but I doubt people care as much as you think.
In other news -- just come to Texas for a weekend. People here will convince you that you are actually behind having a baby at 29! And maybe I'll visit New York where I belong apparently😂
this is super refreshing xandra, and i totally agree that it's probably more me being in my own head!!! the weird "left out" feeling is likely more subliminal than anything else.
you and your best friend are a great example of the different places people can be at age 29, and it sounds like you aren't letting those differences impact how much you see each other or keep up with your friendship. your perspective is helpful to realize that it probably isn't as hard as i am making it out to be. so thank you for sharing your POV, which seems different than others in the comments, which is why i continue to love it here.
This was so comforting!! I am 27 and getting married in less than a month. I’ve been having these same thoughts, especially with a bridal party that is half single/half married w kids. The gap feels wide sometimes but ultimately, like you said, it really helps hearing different perspectives. I love hearing my single friends’ thoughts on marriage just as much as my married friends’. It’s all about intentions and openness. Thank you so much for writing this, it truly made my day!
This resonates so deeply for me too! I wrote something similar quite recently, about how we (my friends and I) are all now living these parallel lives in different speeds and it’s confusing to everyone😅
I too want a baby and I’m not afraid to say it, but it’s probably not happening for a while. I, too, have a pinterest board💕
i'll have to go read your piece, julia! thank you for sharing!