i think it's brave: butter yellow & basketball

being a woman is dizzying

i am dizzy. the other day i saw a list of colors for spring: butter yellow, burgundy, powder blue, lavender, puke green - all apparently are on trend. which means if you wear these colors, you’re being trendy. but what if you are just wearing these colors because you own them? why does it have to indicate how with-the-times i am?

it’s like my sister who has been wearing cargo pants for forever. all the sudden everyone is wearing cargo pants and now she doesn’t want to wear hers. she doesn’t want to look trendy, even though the trend is her innate personal style. the trend cycle literally cannibalized her ability to look unique in her favorite pants.

or what about sambas. i said to my husband last week that i don’t think i’ll ever stop wearing my sambas. he doubts me but i wear those stupid sneakers with every outfit and they always look great. they fit perfectly into my wardrobe, and i think at this point their price-per-wear is like $2. and, yes, i know they are everywhere. i walked 15 minutes in the city last week and saw 7 girls wearing them. but all of us looked different, we all put them on with a different lens that morning. that’s what i am holding onto at least.

but can i let you in on a secret? i am constantly looking at new colors of sambas. even though i love the ones i have. i am chasing something that shouldn’t exist, a gap that should be filled by the shoes already on my feet. and all of this is what it means to be a woman in 2024.

the other day

Megan Alida Strachan

wrote about how women wake up and get dressed and move on. depending on our role, our life, our day, we clothe ourselves and we go get shit done. the things women do everyday are so much more important than the shirt on our back, whether we are in charge of our own life, the lives of tiny humans or an office full of people. even though women love clothes, we also have other things to do.

some days getting dressed is the bane of my existence. others, it is fun and i am excited to wear something new, try a different combination or dress for an event. however, event dressing also ends in tears 50% of the time. i am always trying to impress people with something cool or exciting, when in reality i look best in simple simple simple (i blame social media for this).

i bought a 2000 Dolce & Gabbana dress off TRR and it’s a black mini tube dress and it’s perfect for me. it reminds me of the black theory dress i bought in 2018 and wore to every single important client event. that theory dress was the true definition of grab & go. i knew i would look good and i didn’t have to waste mental energy doubting it. as megan put it, getting dressed for those client events should have been utterly unimportant, but it wasn’t. it was very important. i needed to look nice for them to appreciate what else i was bringing to the table.

that is why getting dressed every day matters to us. because unfortunately, people constantly judge us for and infer things from what we put on our bodies.

there is so much discourse about women’s fashion on the internet and it mostly revolves around buying things. let’s look at the homepage of whowhatwear:

• 28 Under-$100 Basics From Nordstrom's Spring Sale You Don't Want to Miss Out On

• Step Aside, Bulky Sweaters: 30 Spring-Ready Tops I'm Already Snatching Up

• I Haven't Shopped At Zara Yet This Year—These Stunning Items Have Me Adding to Cart

• These 30 Chic Spring Finds Are All I Can Think About— and They're Under $50

like i said, dizzying.

there is no male equivalent to this. thinking about what my husband consumes on the internet, i would say maybe 1% of it is purchase related. twitter isn’t trying to tell him his life isn’t complete without a straw bag for spring!!! he’s just watching sports highlights and reading AITA on reddit. but for women on their phones, there is a constant pressure to spend and chase the next thing to complete your wardrobe (read: life).

but there is pressure everywhere, not just when it comes to getting dressed. caitlin clark is getting roasted on twitter because she’s been a tiny bit of a head case during this year’s ncaa tournament. now, i agree with some of the discourse (and apparently her dad) that she needs to stop acting like the refs are ruining her life. but the commentary on her screaming “get the fuck out” has got to stop. this woman is the most well known college athlete in the country. hands down. she is playing the biggest games of her career on national television in front of thousands of live fans. there is energy, there is emotion, and sometimes that means athletes drop f bombs. when a male player does it? no big deal. when a female player does it? she is “scum of the earth” “born in a trailer park” “not a good role model” blah blah blah.

when you download the march madness app, it’s the men’s tournament. the women’s app sucks in comparison. there have been stories for years about the women’s facilities not being equal, the gear not being as quality. that is all extremely frustrating. but this 22 year old woman is single handedly making everyone want to watch women’s college basketball, a sport she has loved all of her life. a sport she innately understands the value of - and is trying to prove to the entire world that that value exists. let her show some emotion! let her get loud! have you never done anything competitive in your lives? people get more heated over monopoly. and male athletes get this heated every day.

when lsu and south carolina got into a fist fight in the women’s sec championship, i was fired up. i knew that the internet would go crazy over it, because these are young ladies and how could they possibly behave like this. but these girls were talking a little trash, and then they were clearly standing up for their teammates. there really isn’t ever a time for obvious fighting like we saw during that game, across men’s or women’s sports, unless it’s ice hockey. and you could say that it wasn’t a great example for younger girls. but you could also argue what a great conversation for little girls to engage in. let’s discuss how sometimes, you have to blow off some steam, support your teammates, get your hands a little dirty. let’s debate the differences in standards for male and female athletes. let’s talk about what it means to compete at that high of a level. let’s talk about playing to win. let’s talk about anything other than florals for spring.

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thank you for coming to my ted talk. i’ve had a lot of conversations lately about being a woman in today’s society, from career decisions to financial planning to boys’ clubs at work to feeling bad about your body. it’s nice to have an outlet when it gets to be a little too much. but i will say, it’s great that these conversations are happening IRL in the first place.

be brave today even if you don’t want to! love ya!

meigs